Yesterday I started drawing. The New Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain, by Betty Edwards. (Thank you, Mal, for introducing this to me.) Did a self portrait that turned out much better than I thought it would. And my hand, which turned out rather poorly. Maybe I was just disappointed because I formerly drew it much better, a couple years ago in my cat sketch book. I seem to be having trouble getting perspective. I also move too much, get closer, can't seem to avoid it. I focus on one section and then don't get the proportions right to the other sections. I am wanting a big sketchbook, but I will try to wait a bit.

It is very pleasing to use a pencil for a change (ah, my fear of impermanence), and eraser, and play with it in that way. It was very interesting doing my self-portrait -- how much I really saw, shapes and the way my glasses make my eyes look smaller, and interrupt the line of my face.

I have always wanted to draw. I am afraid I am afflicted by perfectionism in this area, maybe like most people. I want to be able to draw things out of my head, and especially to sit down and look at a person or plant or animal and just capture what I see on paper.

In a way, learning about right and left brain functions and the studies they've done on them -- it makes me more appreciative of creative writing. Of the fact that I, or anyone, can actually do anything creative at all.

Lately I have been collaging as well. Collage, collage, collage. I used to think people who did this were strange. I just didn't get it, what's the point, or why, or exactly how it worked. But then, I'd never done it either. And then of course there's the fear -- non-acid-free materials. Though I suppose I did actually do it some -- my Nothing books in eighth and ninth grade, even the door of my dorm room. But anyway, now I find it ... enlightening. The pictures I choose. The themes that appear and reappear. Self-revelation.

last time---next time





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